


Map of Your Head

by Beltenebra



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, NewS (Band)
Genre: M/M, Muses, Psychology, Writers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 20:43:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7136366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beltenebra/pseuds/Beltenebra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tegoshi finds inspiration in the most traditional way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Map of Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a Christmas exchange in 2011. I had a lot of fun with the concept! And I was intensely amused by the fact that I chose the idea right before Shige's first book was announced.

_Psychopathy was positively associated with past nonsexual offenses and negatively associated with age onset for criminal offending, number of sexual victims, and the intensity of negative emotions experienced before sexual offending. However, psychopathy was not related to sexual offense history, age of onset for sexual-_

No, that wasn't right either. Dammit. Tegoshi heaved a gusty sigh and glared at his screen. The cursor seemed to be blinking accusatorily. _You know you should have been done with this by now, you should have been in the editing stage for a week now. You should be able to write this thesis in your sleep._ Classic pathetic fallacy. And possibly also querulent delusions if you factored in the feeling of being persecuted by a handful of black pixels. 

The thunk of his forehead on the desk hurt less than he thought it would have. It might have something to do with the headache he already had, it was crowding his pain receptors, the faux wood of his desk didn't stand a chance. He needed to pull himself together, analyzing his own quirks was not going to get his thesis finished. And he was running out of time, a condition he was distinctly unfamiliar with. 

Tegoshi was the rising star of the psychology department, the darling of the hot-shot abnormal psych professor who headed the department, and widely accepted to be 'going places'. He knew that people expected big things from his master's thesis. Big, impressive, earth-shattering conclusion type things. It wasn't the pressure. He was good under pressure; whether it was the rapid-fire questioning of a research study review panel or the inexorable countdown of the game clock on the soccer field, he always got things done and usually managed with aplomb. 

No, this was something else. All of his data and ideas were sound, all of the information was there just waiting to be shaped into that perfect mold of academic prose. But his brain didn't want to cooperate. It kept insisting on more eloquent phrases, more adjectives than were necessary. He found himself wanting to add extraneous information, little curls of description, background and motivation, all things that had no place whatsoever in an academic study. He knew his advisor was hoping he would be able to publish. 

His head twinged and he picked it up off the desk long enough to fold his arms under it. He settled back in with another sigh. He had a month. One month to beat his data into the appropriate shape. It was cutting it very close but if anyone could do it, he could. And he probably had time for a very short nap. 'Justification with slight self-delusional tendencies' was the last thought that flitted through his head as his eyes fluttered shut.

~~~

His cappuccino was perfect. The foam was just the right consistency and didn't have any cinnamon sprinkled on top. Most places insisted on forcing cinnamon on him. He would have to come back here, he should bring his- his laptop was suddenly just _there_ on the table. Along with his notes and his chipped mug full of pens. And he couldn't remember the name of the coffee shop or, in fact, leaving his apartment. Which meant he was dreaming. Damn. He took another sip, might as well enjoy the phantom coffee while it lasted.

Unfortunately the blinking cursor had persisted even into his dream. 

"It's because you're not supposed to be writing a thesis. 

He was startled right out of his glare; suddenly the other chair was occupied. The guy seemed to be about his age, dark hair and pretty eyes and full lips tilted in the most smug smirk Tegoshi had ever seen. 

"As fascinating as _The Role of Psychopathy in Sadism_ sounds." He was not bothering to hide the fact that he did not find Tegoshi's thesis topic fascinating at all.

"Excuse me?" 

The icy tone of Tegoshi's tone did absolutely nothing to dim the other man's amusement. "You should trust me, I know what I'm talking about." 

"And who are you exactly?"

"You can call me Shige."

"Is that some kind of qualification or just a stupid nickname?" 

Score, that one hit. The man's generous mouth twisted up in a glare and Tegoshi just beamed back at him. 

After a moment though, his face cleared and it was back to smug. Tegoshi wondered if that was his default setting and immediately after what other expressions he could cause him to make. 

Shige crossed his arms and sat back, looking very pleased with himself. 

"I'm a muse." 

"A _what_?"

"Just think of me as one of the world's original paper advisors." 

"You mean like 'prances around in togas inspiring the heroes of old' kind of muse?"

"I do not _prance_!" 

Tegoshi liked irritation best on Shige's face. It made his cheeks just a little pink and his eyes sparkle. 

"And we don't really do the toga thing these days. As you can clearly see." 

Shige's wave encompassed his whole outfit from worn jeans and beat-up black boots to fashionable t-shirt topped by, of all things, a tweed blazer. It was a little incongruous but it was working for him. Very modern model meets sexy professor. Oh god. He was perving on an imaginary person. He needed to get out of the library more often. 

He tried to school his expression into some semblance of casual speculation, he leaned back and crossed his arms, mirroring Shige's body language. "Let's say I believe you and grant both that muses exist and you are one. What exactly do you think I should be doing if it's not writing the paper that is essentially the culmination of years of higher education."

"That's easy." Shige actually smiled this time; a wide, bright grin that sent Tegoshi's pulse racing. "You're supposed to be writing a novel. A psychological thriller, to be exact." 

Oh god. That made too much sense. Instantly all of those totally unsuitable passages that he had to edit out but couldn't quite make himself delete lept to mind. The exposition, the chilling look into the violent miasma of the mind of a sadistic madman, the vivid descriptions of the way the person presses himself into the world – the impact on the victims' families. They were all straight out of a crime novel.

"See? I know you didn't delete them. Just wait, when you start working on it for real, it will all flow together. I promise." 

Shige's voice was warm and pleased and promising all manner of tempting things. But Tegoshi was nothing if not stubborn. This was all in his head anyway, all he had to do was impose some self-control.

"I have to finish this paper. I just... I have to." He closed his eyes against Shige's disappointed frown and willed himself awake. 

His paper was even less appealing with the crick in his neck from passing out on the table. He did his best to stretch the kinks out and got back to work.

~~~

A week later and things were not going as well as they could be. Which was a very political way to say how they were actually going. Which was like complete shit. Well, the thesis anyway.

The small, clandestine breaks Tegoshi allowed himself to work on some of the bits of writing in that _other_ folder were going very well indeed. The notes and brief paragraphs were blossoming into longer paragraphs, whole scenes, and even chapters. It didn't even feel like work. 

His advisor was not at all pleased. He stared at Tegoshi like he had grown a second head when he mentioned that he was having problems. As fas as most people in the university were concerned, problems were something that happened to other people, not Tegoshi. From the man's reaction you would think that Tegoshi was doing it specifically to mar his career. Ridiculous, entitled academics. 

"But aren't you aiming to be one of them?" Shige's deep voice cut through his reverie. 

Shit. Tegoshi has kind of hoped that was a one time thing. He tried to wake himself up, he squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated. 

"Hey, not so fast." Shige's hands were on his shoulders and he was right there leaning in and Tegoshi's eyes were suddenly wide open. 

"Do you really want to be one of those dried-up sticks? Your personality is much better suited for a creative profession. You can even use all of that expertise of yours." 

That deep, husky voice was warm in his ear and Shige smelled really good for a projection of his subconscious, all spice and sandalwood. It was making it very difficult for Tegoshi to properly refute his argument. 

"I know it's going well. Isn't it a good feeling writing something that just works? It's going to be amazing, you can't give up now." 

And then he was off and running, that voice weaving through the story that Tegoshi could so clearly see unfolding. All of the twists and turns laid out like blood-red ribbons and if such a thing as muses really existed, Shige was certainty good at his job because Tegoshi's fingers were practically itching to get at the keyboard. 

Then, without warning, Shige's strong hands dug into the tense muscles of Tegoshi's neck and kneaded, wringing a completely embarrassing moan from his throat. He tamped down a slightly hysterical chuckle at the thought that this was shaping up to taking self-gratification to a whole new level. 

Shige's mouth was so close that he could feel those lips brushing the shell of his ear, instantly replacing one kind of tension with another one entirely. "Now get to work." 

He bolted upright with a start. Damn. If he was going to have _those_ kinds of dreams, why did he have to wake up before the good part? He added masochism to his little list of personal disorders. 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, these jeans were really not constructed to comfortably accommodate male arousal. Damn. What did it say about him that he was infatuated with a construction of his imagination. He should write his thesis about _that_. And then they could commit him right after they handed him his diploma. 

Instead he passed right over that file and opened the other one. His fingers flew over the keys; the rapid clicking and the churning flood of ideas was almost enough to make him forget Shige's smile.

~~~

He tried to keep his expression blank in the face of his advisor's ire. "It's _barely_ acceptable, Tegoshi-kun."

"But it will pass, right?" He knew it would pass, he just wanted the man to confirm it. 

His advisor looked like he had bitten into a particularly large lemon. "Yes, it will. But I don't understand how this happened. This could have been a perfect thesis; it's like you completely lost your focus." 

More like redirected it. He tried not to think about the nearly finished manuscript that was waiting for him at home. He gave the man his best innocent look and shrugged, "I guess I just wasn't inspired."

~~~

Tegoshi supposed he should have been more nervous about the whole 'finding an agent/submitting a manuscript/getting published' process. He had known things were going to work out. The book was fantastic, he had it on good authority. Thankfully, the publishing company seemed to share his opinion.

Things were going swimmingly, his only disappointment was that he hadn't dreamed of Shige at all since his manuscript was purchased. His missed him as much as one could miss a figment of one's imagination. Which it turned out was a lot. 

But today was his first day to actually work on preparing the book for publication. He was informed that his editor had read the manuscript and was ready to get started. The nice woman from the front desk led him to one of many offices with identical doors and left him with a smile and a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 

He knocked and the voice that told him politely to please come in was eerily familiar. He opened the door and was only momentarily stunned to see that the voice matched the face that had haunted him for weeks. 

The nameplate on the desk read 'Kato Shigeaki'. He could feel the grin curving his lips up. Shige looked at him a little inquisitively, one eyebrow raised. 

"You must be Tegoshi-san. You can call me-"

"I'll call you Shige." He could barely keep the delighted laughter out of his voice at Shige's answering expression of completely baffled exasperation. 

Tegoshi didn't give him time to catch up. He plopped himself down in one of the chairs and tilted his head with another cheeky grin. "Aren't you a little young to be editing a soon-to-be-best-selling novel?" 

"Aren’t you hugely presumptuous for a first-time author?!" That got a big reaction, Tegoshi was enjoying being on the other side of this little game even if this Shige had no idea they were even playing. 

"Well, have you worked on other projects before?" He eyed the office, it looked like a nice, professional setting but a few small things were off. Things were very neat, a little too neat and- yes! There on the filing cabinet, a scrap of plastic like it had just been unwrapped and someone missed a bit of the packaging. He narrowed his eyes in speculation."You just moved into this office, didn't you? Am I your first assignment?" 

"No!" Shige crossed his arms with an almost-pout. "I've edited books before." 

Tegoshi gave him his best 'I'm really not sure I should believe you' stare. 

"I have," Shige blustered. "I've worked on several very successful cookbooks." 

Shige just glared harder at Tegoshi's gleeful chuckle. 

"What!" 

"Nothing," Tegoshi assured him with a grin. "I just... have this feeling, is all."

Shige sighed and it sounded resigned like he just realized that he was stuck with Tegoshi. "What, that we are going to kill each other before your book hits the shelves?" 

He was fascinated by the curve of Shige's frown. He wondered how long it would be before he could get away with stealing a kiss. "I think we're going to work perfectly together. Call it... inspired."


End file.
